By Asa Schuster
It was the matchup that everybody (outside of San Francisco and Boston) wanted to see, in the venue where nobody wanted to have the game, and it only took the Seattle Seahawks 12 seconds to be the only thing super about Super Bowl XLVIII.
Seattle were so super that they almost made up for the now six year absence of the Supersonics in the Emerald City.
Super enough to end their 38-year franchise drought, super for Shaun Alexander and Matt Hasselbeck, super for Jim Zorn and Steve Largent.
Meanwhile, It was a rough day for legendary quarterbacks as Broadway Joe Namath prematurely tossed the coin, moments before Peyton Manning was startled by his center Manny Ramirez jumping the gun on the opening snap of the game and butchering the play into a safety for the ages.
The mighty Broncos had stumbled out of the blocks awkwardly and never recovered as they labored through the rest of the game resembling bumbling donkeys.
The young Seahawks rose to an 8-0 lead and then Manning cocked his right arm back and released a disorientated Mallard that failed to adhere to its intended flight path.
Instead, Seattle safety Kam Chancellor collected the fragile bird and put it in the capable hands of Russell Wilson and Marshawn Lynch, who collaborated and campaigned hard to find it a new home; in the Broncos’ end zone.
At 15-0, Manning accidently released an injured Mallard, luckily Seattle linebacker/Park Ranger Malcolm Smith plucked the hapless duck from the air and promptly transported it to their refuge.
Now down 22-0, Manning had an extended break to sit his usual take-home exam during half time.
It was expected that he and the Broncos would regroup and reformulate their game-plan and begin to rack up some points as they did during their record-breaking offensive season.
The first point of emphasis was to avoid Percy Harvin, avoid Percy Harvin, avoid Percy Harvin at all costs with their kickoff to start the third quarter.
Matt Prater’s kick was short and bounced up perfectly for the waiting Harvin, who then peeled off 87 yards and left the Broncos in his dust.
Again, it took just 12 seconds and 12 is the magic number for Seattle.
The orange guys couldn’t catch Harvin and couldn’t catch up with the Seahawks as they soared away with the game, leaving the Broncos battered and bruised.
Seattle’s new brand of smashmouth is perfect for cottonmouth fans in these changing times where more so than ever both cities were prepared to cope with victory and defeat like never before.
Super bowls of legalized marijuana were packed in Colorado and Washington, in Denver it helped ease the pain and in Seattle, well it just enhanced the high.